ly
“butyourenotaoods,”
rodneypersisted“youuldnthaveacceptedifyouhadntloved”hecried
asenseofheroisbehavior,hshehadsucceededinkeepingfroerbysharpeninghesciousness
ofrodneysfaults,noost
overedherparisonh
thefactthathecaredforheruesin
parison
inaflashthenviost
sinofallstaeditselfuponherinstthought;andshefeltherselfbrandedforever
hehadtakenherarandheldherhandfiryinhis,norhadshetheforcetoresistedtoher
208
virginiawoolf
hisenoruslysuperiorstrengthverywell;shewouldsubt,ashertherandherauntandsten,
perhaps,hadsubtted;andyetsheknehateverysendofsuchsubssiontohisstrengthond
oftrea
“ididsayiarryyou,butitwaswrong,”she
forasifto
annuleventheseengsubssionofthatseparatepartofher;“foridontloveyou,;youvenoticedit,everyonesnoticedit;ending
oldyouilovedyou,ii
kneobeuntrue”
asnoneofheredtoheratalladequateto
represent,andehasized
theght
haveuponanpletely
takenabackbyfindingheraruddenlydropped;thenshesaoststrangelyntorted;washelaughing,itflashedaontshesaw
thatheentatthisapparition
shestoodaghastforasendhadesperate
sensethatthishorrorst,atallsts,bestopped,shethenputherarabouthidreont
uponhershoulder,andledhin,rringwordsof
nsolation,untilheheavedagreatsightheyheldfasttoeachother;hertears,too,randoheeks;andhquitesilentnoticingthedifficultyhh
heeextrelassitudeinher
obs,sheproposedthattheyshouldrestforanthebrackenh
anoaktreeheassentedoncerehegavea
greatsigh,andhachildlikeunnsciousness,
andbegantospeakhoutatraceofhis
previousangertheideacatoherthattheywerelikethechildreninthefairytaleinawood,
andindshenoticedthescatteringof
deadleavesallroundthee
oheaps,afootorthere
“ofeelthis,katharine”hesaid;
“foritisnttruetosaythatyouvealit
ihefirstnighthat
yourclotheshadbeenleftbehindstill,hefault209
nightandday
inthatiuldproseyounevertointerferehyouritiairs
hhenryperhapsishotooopenlybut
thatsnotunreasonableeitherwhenonesengagedaskyourtherandnohisterriblething”hebrokeoff,unableforthenttoproceedanyfurther“thisdecisionyousayyouveetohaveyoudiscussedit
other,forexale,orhenry”
“no,no,ofursenot,”shesaid,stirringtheleaveshherhand“butyoudontunderstand,”
“helptounderstandyou”
“youdontunderstand,ian,realfeelings;howuldyouiveonlynoselfbutihavent
gotthesortoffeelinglove,ianidontkno
tocallit”shelookedvaguelytohehorizonsunkunderst”but,anyhoarriagewould
beafarce”
“hothiskindofanalysisis
disastrous”heexclaid
“ishouldhavedoneitbefore,”shesaidglooly“youkeyourselfthinkthingsyoudontthink,”hentinued,beingdenstrativehhishands,as
hisnnere,katharine,beforee
herelyhappyyouwerefullofplansfor
ourhousetheeerlike
anyotheranarriednow,foo
reasonever,youbegintofretaboutyourfeelingandaboutfeeling,htheusualresultiassureyou,katharine,ivebeenthroughitallselfatoii
yselfabsurdquestionse
tonothingeitheryouaysayso,is
sooccupationtotakeyououtofyourselfhis
rbidodesonifithadntbeenforpoetry,i
assureyou,ishouldoftenhavebeenverychinthesastateselftoletyouintoasecret,”hentinued,ost
assured,“iveoftengonehofroeeingyouinsuchastateofnervesthatihadtoforceselftoeapageortyheadaskdenha
helltellyouhoetonenight;helltellyou
astatehefoundin”
katharinestartedentionof
210
virginiawoolf
ralphsnathethoughtofthenversationinh
heducthadbeendeasubjectfordiscussionh
denhaousedheranger;but,assheinstantlyfelt,shehadscarcelytherighttogrudgeanyuseofher
na,seeinghadbeenfrobr >
firsttolastandyetdenhahehadavieasa
judgeshefiguredhitelyancesofher
levityinthissinine
ralityandgrufflydisssingbothherandherfalyehalfsarcastic,halftolerantphrasehsealedherdooasfarasheonceed,foreverhaving
thiolately,thesenseofhischaracterrong
inherthethoughtapleasantoneforaproud
an,butshehadyettoleatheartofsubduingherexpressionhereyesfixedupontheground,herbrowsdraaveryfairpictureofthe
resentntthatsheontrolacertain
degreeofapprehension,oinatingin
akindoffear,hadaleredintohisloveforher,andhadincreased,rathertohissurprise,inthegreaterintientbeneathhersteady,ex
elarysurfaceranaveinofpassionedto
hiopletelyirrational,foritnever
tookthenorlandhis
doings;and,indeed,healstpreferredthesteadygoodsense,arkedtheirrela
